








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3834 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2942 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3364 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1754 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,603 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roddy Homewrecker | 74% | 46 |
| #2 | Hentai is Art | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | ✪ eNormus | 56% | 172 |
| #4 | Thunder Quads | 54% | 180 |
| #5 | yekoms | 54% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roddy Homewrecker | 21 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | Looking for Big Tiddy Goths | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ✪ eNormus | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | yekoms | 13 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Mitchyooot | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roddy Homewrecker | +6.19 | 73 | 79 |
| #2 | Hentai is Art | +2.52 | 81 | 46 |
| #3 | yekoms | +1.67 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | Thunder Quads | +1.14 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | ✪ eNormus | +0.92 | 62 | 56 |





