








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1998 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1507 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2610 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,122,445 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br0Mic | 45% | 161 |
| #2 | Timon the pain train | 42% | 159 |
| #3 | N1el$ | 41% | 100 |
| #4 | Malock aka Pumba | 39% | 144 |
| #5 | ripoff.DK | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Malock aka Pumba | 39% | 144 |
| #5 | ripoff.DK | 38% | 34 |
| #6 | RAZZER | 33% | 12 |
| #7 | TheMotherf***DarkAngelll | 28% | 32 |
| #8 | Brille🤓 | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timon the pain train | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Br0Mic | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ripoff.DK | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Malock aka Pumba | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | N1el$ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br0Mic | 220 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | N1el$ | 121 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Malock aka Pumba | 111 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ripoff.DK | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Timon the pain train | 73 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1el$ | +4.04 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | RAZZER | +2.32 | 64 | 45 |
| #3 | Br0Mic | +0.65 | 28 | 65 |
| #4 | kiara | +0.28 | 28 | 57 |
| #5 | TheMotherf***DarkAngelll | -1.91 | 34 | 55 |





