








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 397 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6698 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7266 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3105 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4840 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,089,434 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dobbies | 58% | 138 |
| #2 | Aabba | 53% | 145 |
| #3 | Kitten The Autistic AWPer | 51% | 491 |
| #4 | jUs (heating room with pc) | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dobbies | 58% | 138 |
| #2 | Aabba | 53% | 145 |
| #3 | Kitten The Autistic AWPer | 51% | 491 |
| #4 | jUs (heating room with pc) | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitten The Autistic AWPer | 27 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Aabba | 18 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Dobbies | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | jUs (heating room with pc) | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aabba | 409 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Dobbies | 388 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | jUs (heating room with pc) | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kitten The Autistic AWPer | 43 | 0.00 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ The Mangler | +2.88 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | Dobbies | +1.85 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | jUs (heating room with pc) | +0.54 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | Aabba | +0.32 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | Kitten The Autistic AWPer | -2.08 | 94 | 16 |





