








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1511 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1372 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 720 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1049 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $339,616 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guess who?!!? | 46% | 26 |
| #2 | Deadman_walkn | 46% | 104 |
| #3 | Mumen Rider | 44% | 130 |
| #4 | Fallєи Оиё | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Line_ | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guess who?!!? | 46% | 26 |
| #2 | Deadman_walkn | 46% | 104 |
| #3 | Mumen Rider | 44% | 130 |
| #4 | Fallєи Оиё | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Line_ | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mumen Rider | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Deadman_walkn | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Fallєи Оиё | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mumen Rider | 242 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Line_ | 218 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #3 | Deadman_walkn | 166 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Guess who?!!? | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fallєи Оиё | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Line_ | +3.19 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | Deadman_walkn | +2.25 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Fallєи Оиё | +1.69 | 57 | 49 |
| #4 | ✾ DirtyRoy | -0.34 | 33 | 62 |
| #5 | Mumen Rider | -1.18 | 44 | 55 |





