








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 507 | 23% |
| Smokes | 699 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 550 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,710 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cockhacker69 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | mowzy | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | - | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | Kirka | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Businessman | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Businessman | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | - | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | cockhacker69 | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | - | 138 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Businessman | 81 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | DubbyDubbs | 51 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | mowzy | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kirka | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mowzy | +7.53 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | - | +4.91 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | cockhacker69 | +3.18 | 72 | 48 |
| #4 | Businessman | +2.24 | 43 | 72 |
| #5 | Kuldz | -1.29 | 44 | 57 |





