








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 883 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 734 matches | ||
| Wingman | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3695 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7970 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 4893 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4530 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,463,428 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Stoefff | 52% | 236 |
| #4 | Flawstr1ke | 51% | 178 |
| #5 | Beyond Cringe | 50% | 62 |
| #6 | Tumty | 49% | 156 |
| #7 | Dmitry | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoefff | 775 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Flawstr1ke | 516 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | ретард вектор | 503 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | Tumty | 385 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | Beyond Cringe | 250 | 0.22 | 5 min |





