








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1931 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1947 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1759 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1264 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,190 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dalen | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | donkey | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Naxnixnux | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Stabsen | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | HoTTeN ツ | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dalen | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | donkey | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Naxnixnux | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Stabsen | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | HoTTeN ツ | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stabsen | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Naxnixnux | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoTTeN ツ | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | donkey | 53 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dalen | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stabsen | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Naxnixnux | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donkey | +2.53 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Stabsen | +1.02 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | Sjefpluggen | +0.57 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Dalen | +0.25 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | HoTTeN ツ | -0.37 | 67 | 69 |





