








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 30% |
| Smokes | 389 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 233 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 335 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,308 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achilles | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Shakey Jakey | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | b.unge | 38% | 24 |
| #4 | BEEEEANS | 32% | 41 |
| #5 | Racyspace | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achilles | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Shakey Jakey | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | b.unge | 38% | 24 |
| #4 | BEEEEANS | 32% | 41 |
| #5 | Racyspace | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BEEEEANS | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | b.unge | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Shakey Jakey | 2 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Achilles | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b.unge | 106 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | BEEEEANS | 68 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Achilles | 30 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shakey Jakey | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Achilles | +5.14 | 67 | 58 |
| #2 | Shakey Jakey | +1.70 | 79 | 18 |
| #3 | b.unge | -0.04 | 43 | 58 |
| #4 | v | -0.90 | 75 | 43 |
| #5 | BEEEEANS | -1.89 | 25 | 29 |





