








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1269 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1838 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1862 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1425 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,584 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Link9047 | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Zeltron | 52% | 140 |
| #3 | El $mokey | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | cinnamon toast crunch | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Link9047 | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Zeltron | 52% | 140 |
| #3 | El $mokey | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | cinnamon toast crunch | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeltron | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | El $mokey | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeltron | 192 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | El $mokey | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | cinnamon toast crunch | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Link9047 | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeltron | +2.01 | 63 | 48 |
| #2 | El $mokey | +1.46 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | Buff Gemma | +0.60 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | Link9047 | -2.73 | 55 | 43 |
| #5 | cinnamon toast crunch | -3.65 | 40 | 57 |





