








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3904 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3294 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2842 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2795 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,377 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏ π π π | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | PvT. | 60% | 139 |
| #3 | Bongle McDougan | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | β±Isy | 53% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏ π π π | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | PvT. | 60% | 139 |
| #3 | Bongle McDougan | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | β±Isy | 53% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PvT. | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | β±Isy | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Bongle McDougan | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | πΏ π π π | 4 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β±Isy | 365 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | PvT. | 355 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bongle McDougan | 77 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | πΏ π π π | 63 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Ham | +3.34 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | πΏ π π π | +3.23 | 78 | 44 |
| #3 | PvT. | -0.30 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | Bongle McDougan | -0.56 | 55 | 52 |
| #5 | β±Isy | -2.05 | 52 | 59 |





