








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 698 matches | ||
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2443 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3127 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5652 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4405 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,834,836 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Average Warlock Enjoyer | 51% | 94 |
| #2 | Gen. Von | 51% | 61 |
| #3 | Flumz | 51% | 196 |
| #4 | Jennii | 50% | 301 |
| #5 | Reverb | 47% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jennii | 26 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Reverb | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Average Warlock Enjoyer | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Flumz | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Gen. Von | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jennii | 638 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Flumz | 367 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Reverb | 117 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gen. Von | 113 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Average Warlock Enjoyer | 102 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +1.16 | 63 | 43 |
| #2 | Jennii | +0.33 | 37 | 55 |
| #3 | Flumz | -0.63 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Reverb | -0.82 | 62 | 29 |
| #5 | Gen. Von | -1.22 | 42 | 37 |





