








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1736 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1881 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1954 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1953 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,619 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4cKeR<3 | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Nais | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Mjaueritz | 59% | 128 |
| #4 | Levin | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Sbouty | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cr4cKeR<3 | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Nais | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Mjaueritz | 59% | 128 |
| #4 | Levin | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Sbouty | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mjaueritz | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Nais | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sbouty | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mjaueritz | 338 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Nais | 258 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sbouty | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Levin | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cr4cKeR<3 | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nais | +3.17 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Cr4cKeR<3 | +1.47 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Mjaueritz | +1.09 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Sbouty | +0.96 | 80 | 56 |
| #5 | ✪ Matsimoe™ | +0.54 | 67 | 65 |





