








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 359 | 29% |
| Smokes | 440 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 180 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 260 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,390 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHANEY | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Snodz | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | yz0 | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | zenta | 100% | 3 |
| #5 | Bish | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #19 | M1n1maL | 33% | 3 |
| #20 | jaredd | 33% | 3 |
| #21 | sxcrifice21 | 33% | 3 |
| #22 | Wiedźmin | 0% | 2 |
| #23 | m a r i ‧₊˚ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haznoodle | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | dragonst4r | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Maza | 1 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | zenta | 1 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | yz0 | 1 | 0.0263 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haznoodle | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | dragonst4r | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | sxcrifice21 | 23 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #4 | Maza | 17 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Keto | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yz0 | +10.62 | 76 | 9 |
| #2 | jaredd | +6.06 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | chipohippo | +4.33 | 81 | 22 |
| #4 | dragonst4r | +3.63 | 94 | 51 |
| #5 | Shotzyy | +2.37 | 67 | 71 |





