








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 888 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2485 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2477 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2186 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3823 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,136,005 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mu5icn3rd | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Aperino | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | mo||o | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | Malico | 58% | 104 |
| #5 | Freeze | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | f¡nn | 51% | 37 |
| #9 | Jasp | 49% | 74 |
| #10 | Doomnik | 48% | 90 |
| #11 | PhilNP | 46% | 57 |
| #12 | IsMirWayne | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f¡nn | 8 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | IsMirWayne | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Mu5icn3rd | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Malico | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Jasp | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malico | 342 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Doomnik | 284 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Freeze | 228 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | mo||o | 182 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | f¡nn | 145 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robert | +2.44 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | Aperino | +1.61 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | Soniccannon | +0.91 | 89 | 59 |
| #4 | f¡nn | +0.43 | 75 | 76 |
| #5 | Mu5icn3rd | +0.42 | 63 | 68 |





