








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1551 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2273 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1802 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1573 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $724,008 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beko HGS | 214 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sedi138 | 114 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | DER MARABU | 101 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | かたれや | 77 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | sapphic Slut Juno | 74 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sapphic Slut Juno | +2.68 | 68 | 44 |
| #2 | かたれや | +2.23 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Roach 🎲 | +2.13 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | DER MARABU | +1.53 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | Beko HGS | +0.27 | 76 | 65 |





