








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 844 | 26% |
| Smokes | 892 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 752 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 729 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,065 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seaNm | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Nova Meister | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | teeM | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Jesse Jax ♫ | 53% | 74 |
| #5 | wiqtory | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | teeM | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Jesse Jax ♫ | 53% | 74 |
| #5 | wiqtory | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | Roe Jogan /Buying skins/ | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | RE-PULZE {Dominic} | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesse Jax ♫ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | teeM | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | RE-PULZE {Dominic} | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teeM | 158 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jesse Jax ♫ | 104 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | RE-PULZE {Dominic} | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nova Meister | 32 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | wiqtory | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teeM | +4.08 | 93 | 64 |
| #2 | Merp | +3.39 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | seaNm | +1.40 | 90 | 46 |
| #4 | RE-PULZE {Dominic} | -1.31 | 86 | 54 |
| #5 | wiqtory | -1.61 | 77 | 58 |





