








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3879 | 49% |
| Smokes | 1637 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1779 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 643 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,369 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1655 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BurgerRelish | 54% | 189 |
| #2 | Super(); | 53% | 242 |
| #3 | SomeEpicCoolDude | 52% | 265 |
| #4 | PHiLL | 52% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BurgerRelish | 54% | 189 |
| #2 | Super(); | 53% | 242 |
| #3 | SomeEpicCoolDude | 52% | 265 |
| #4 | PHiLL | 52% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super(); | 39 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | SomeEpicCoolDude | 30 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | PHiLL | 22 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | BurgerRelish | 8 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PHiLL | 1063 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #2 | Super(); | 380 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | SomeEpicCoolDude | 373 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | BurgerRelish | 366 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doctor Sex | +1.47 | 69 | 46 |
| #2 | Super(); | +0.81 | 59 | 49 |
| #3 | PHiLL | -0.40 | 40 | 62 |
| #4 | SomeEpicCoolDude | -0.55 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | BurgerRelish | -1.84 | 32 | 57 |





