








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 197 matches | ||
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




234 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3917 | 61% |
| Smokes | 732 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 831 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 940 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,577 of utility $15 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | entry rat | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | THE HUMP: ENGLISH TRANSLATION | 51% | 177 |
| #3 | Toast | 45% | 33 |
| #4 | MIRAGE ONLY | 45% | 49 |
| #5 | ✪ CAZE | 44% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Milpert | 41% | 41 |
| #8 | Hugo ♡ | 36% | 45 |
| #9 | bhittycs | 33% | 61 |
| #10 | phile2k | 31% | 49 |
| #11 | Slide ✌ | 22% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ CAZE | 33 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | phile2k | 26 | 0.0315 |
| #3 | THE HUMP: ENGLISH TRANSLATION | 19 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | entry rat | 13 | 0.0170 |
| #5 | MIRAGE ONLY | 12 | 0.0121 |





