








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1062 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1219 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 615 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 676 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,361 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizlo | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | DunkWheezy | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizlo | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | DunkWheezy | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DunkWheezy | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Fizlo | 6 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DunkWheezy | 269 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Fizlo | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DunkWheezy | +2.23 | 75 | 53 |
| #2 | Fizlo | -0.31 | 62 | 52 |
| #3 | SlammyJammy | -0.74 | 57 | 58 |





