








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2277 | 36% |
| Smokes | 555 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1724 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1738 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,356 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jame | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | AMS KingKappa | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Washed up | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Kaffe | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | matt - fx | 3 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Washed up | 177 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jame | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kaffe | 77 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lil Uzi | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | El Goog | 74 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaffe | +3.45 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | humbugman1 CSGOBIG.com | +2.79 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | Washed up | +1.51 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | AMS KingKappa | +0.70 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | Jame | -0.02 | 51 | 57 |





