








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 390 | 16% |
| Smokes | 612 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 744 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 625 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,166 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Optimus Prime | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Larvid | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | {R'F} the swede | 45% | 94 |
| #4 | Arvon | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | malmbah | 41% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jomexer | 22 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | malmbah | 12 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | {R'F} the swede | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Larvid | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Karl Sippa | 3 | 0.0187 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | malmbah | 156 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | {R'F} the swede | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Prodigy Dreedviper | 86 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jomexer | 57 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Larvid | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arvon | +4.48 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | {R'F} the swede | +3.31 | 48 | 57 |
| #3 | Larvid | +2.91 | 32 | 61 |
| #4 | Karl Sippa | +2.03 | 32 | 50 |
| #5 | Optimus Prime | -0.70 | 22 | 25 |





