








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 232 matches | ||
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




144 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5995 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5038 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4481 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3471 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,844,943 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4901 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | something bug like | 58% | 105 |
| #2 | Noname | 56% | 153 |
| #3 | Queen Victoria ♡ | 53% | 150 |
| #4 | Fry Thief (witch arc) | 53% | 212 |
| #5 | richie | 52% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richie | 55 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Noname | 24 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Fry Thief (witch arc) | 16 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Bunny Princess | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Yiffamous | 15 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunny Princess | 847 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Fry Thief (witch arc) | 694 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | Noname | 563 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | richie | 517 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | Queen Victoria ♡ | 272 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot | +3.83 | 61 | 47 |
| #2 | Fry Thief (witch arc) | +3.24 | 60 | 54 |
| #3 | Noname | +0.41 | 43 | 27 |
| #4 | Queen Victoria ♡ | -0.25 | 52 | 55 |
| #5 | richie | -0.89 | 50 | 50 |





