








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 526 | 22% |
| Smokes | 684 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 470 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 692 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,749 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liwean | 215 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ankou | 211 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | 13Douze | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Windows Spy Fox | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pastèque | 31 | 0.19 | 1 min |





