








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3418 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2912 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1562 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2643 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,782 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LiToNN | 53% | 90 |
| #8 | sc0rchzz | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | 1110^^ | 49% | 152 |
| #10 | DnL | 43% | 44 |
| #11 | shifter | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiToNN | 494 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | 1110^^ | 332 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Lazurus | 317 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mopszliهذا | 190 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | DnL | 185 | 0.18 | 5 min |





