








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4345 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3968 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2511 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2456 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,620 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sherngốc Kwan | 51% | 93 |
| #9 | Mykhailo Oleksiiovych "kane" Bla | 50% | 105 |
| #10 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Ne1v ♥ | 50% | 66 |
| #11 | bbstx | 49% | 73 |
| #12 | ♚ teddy 飛 | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mAki | 483 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | bbstx | 348 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Xoai- | 252 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sherngốc Kwan | 229 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Ne1v ♥ | 197 | 0.15 | 5 min |





