








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 343 | 24% |
| Smokes | 385 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 268 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 408 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,851 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cl34v3rs™ | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Marvin Knief | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Nica | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | TryMeBitch™ | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | farmaG | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TryMeBitch™ | 7 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Nica | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Marvin Knief | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Noah | 2 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TryMeBitch™ | 164 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nica | 48 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Marvin Knief | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Addereum | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Noah | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |





