








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 818 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1047 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2348 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5139 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 1224 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,649,338 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nitz666 | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | LilJewzi | 54% | 227 |
| #3 | TorNatoTato | 51% | 267 |
| #4 | EmoTrunks | 48% | 123 |
| #5 | LA Zoo | Giraffe(too drunk) | 48% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilJewzi | +1.72 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | LA Zoo | Koala ( IPA ) | +0.84 | 58 | 33 |
| #3 | LA Zoo | Giraffe(too drunk) | +0.27 | 59 | 36 |
| #4 | TorNatoTato | -0.78 | 53 | 44 |
| #5 | nitz666 | -0.87 | 48 | 49 |





