








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 79 | 18% |
| Smokes | 98 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 145 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 125 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,908 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerJury | 23% | 13 |
| #2 | EmilyFischer04 | 14% | 7 |
| #3 | BetterCallPaul | 0% | 4 |
| #4 | Lord Dallmeister | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerJury | 23% | 13 |
| #2 | EmilyFischer04 | 14% | 7 |
| #3 | BetterCallPaul | 0% | 4 |
| #4 | Lord Dallmeister | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Dallmeister | 1 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerJury | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | BetterCallPaul | 14 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | EmilyFischer04 | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Lord Dallmeister | 6 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TPlayingG | -0.23 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | EmilyFischer04 | -2.07 | 53 | 43 |
| #3 | DerJury | -4.26 | 36 | 53 |
| #4 | BetterCallPaul | -5.19 | 43 | 60 |
| #5 | Lord Dallmeister | -5.27 | 37 | 39 |





