








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 460 | 16% |
| Smokes | 396 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1277 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 721 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $346,878 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loafy | 48% | 52 |
| #2 | Mister Chief | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | CosmicJones | 41% | 114 |
| #4 | Bizon | 40% | 101 |
| #5 | Sergeant Piggy | 35% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sergeant Piggy | 143 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Loafy | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | CosmicJones | 126 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Borper | 31 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mister Chief | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borper | +7.80 | 87 | 43 |
| #2 | Mister Chief | +7.15 | 74 | 54 |
| #3 | Loafy | +3.17 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | Bizon | +2.08 | 37 | 12 |
| #5 | Pee Pee Bi Son | -0.57 | 29 | 37 |





