








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2037 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1970 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1669 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1143 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,257 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NANANA FATMAN | 50% | 200 |
| #2 | Hasse Vasselin | 49% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NANANA FATMAN | 50% | 200 |
| #2 | Hasse Vasselin | 49% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NANANA FATMAN | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Hasse Vasselin | 8 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NANANA FATMAN | 870 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | Hasse Vasselin | 125 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILL SLUMP | +3.09 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | Hasse Vasselin | -1.02 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | NANANA FATMAN | -2.52 | 44 | 69 |





