








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2402 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3697 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3666 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2728 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,799,404 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 神 Shen ☯ | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | н1ѕ0кa ✯ н✗н | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | Edda____ | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | Mistyk [<3] | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 神 Shen ☯ | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | н1ѕ0кa ✯ н✗н | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | Edda____ | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | Mistyk [<3] | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edda____ | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | н1ѕ0кa ✯ н✗н | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Mistyk [<3] | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | 神 Shen ☯ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edda____ | 156 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | 神 Shen ☯ | 107 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | н1ѕ0кa ✯ н✗н | 71 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mistyk [<3] | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | н1ѕ0кa ✯ н✗н | +4.43 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | 神 Shen ☯ | +2.03 | 57 | 71 |
| #3 | Edda____ | +0.51 | 44 | 55 |
| #4 | GUSTAVO | -2.65 | 19 | 47 |
| #5 | Mistyk [<3] | -3.16 | 42 | 34 |





