








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1326 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1597 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1308 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 672 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,645 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 646 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samagons | 15 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | EvitafromLatvia | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | dorpazeN | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Kurzemnieks | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Lil kristaps.r | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EvitafromLatvia | 398 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | dorpazeN | 284 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kurzemnieks | 226 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Samagons | 184 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lil kristaps.r | 139 | 0.16 | 3 min |





