








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1325 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1527 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 853 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,381 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niv | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | PEDRO PEDRO PEDRO | 58% | 126 |
| #3 | WumWums | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | DONDONDON | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niv | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | PEDRO PEDRO PEDRO | 58% | 126 |
| #3 | WumWums | 54% | 65 |
| #4 | DONDONDON | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEDRO PEDRO PEDRO | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Niv | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | DONDONDON | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEDRO PEDRO PEDRO | 502 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | WumWums | 215 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | DONDONDON | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Niv | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuro | +2.90 | 77 | 39 |
| #2 | WumWums | +0.12 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | PEDRO PEDRO PEDRO | -0.17 | 52 | 68 |
| #4 | Niv | -1.09 | 38 | 63 |
| #5 | DONDONDON | -2.75 | 16 | 57 |





