








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1041 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 645 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10493 | 35% |
| Smokes | 8395 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6333 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4358 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,468,519 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby | 52% | 71 |
| #2 | Benjie | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | reefr | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | MaBrick | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | bawlzack | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby | 52% | 71 |
| #2 | Benjie | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | reefr | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | MaBrick | 47% | 60 |
| #5 | bawlzack | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | MaBrick | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | bawlzack | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Benjie | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | reefr | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby | 235 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | MaBrick | 155 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | reefr | 147 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | bawlzack | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Benjie | 116 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yew | +0.90 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | Benjie | +0.68 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | bawlzack | -0.01 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | reefr | -0.72 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | MaBrick | -1.13 | 70 | 66 |





