








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3216 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3453 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3110 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1751 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,596 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pellilisches | 51% | 59 |
| #2 | Juri Tarded | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | Jįµįµįµ | 48% | 288 |
| #4 | Mike Balzich š | 47% | 153 |
| #5 | Morris | 45% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morris | 28 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Jįµįµįµ | 26 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Mike Balzich š | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Kapsl | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Pellilisches | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jįµįµįµ | 751 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Morris | 445 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mike Balzich š | 414 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Pellilisches | 129 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kapsl | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |





