








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2013 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2567 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2102 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1486 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,146 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vlitzen | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Dargon | 55% | 96 |
| #3 | HKS | 55% | 143 |
| #4 | Luke | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vlitzen | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | Dargon | 55% | 96 |
| #3 | HKS | 55% | 143 |
| #4 | Luke | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HKS | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Dargon | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Luke | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HKS | 403 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Luke | 96 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Vlitzen | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dargon | 65 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HKS | +2.77 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Dargon | +2.67 | 82 | 42 |
| #3 | Vlitzen | +1.71 | 52 | 58 |
| #4 | noodle boy<3 | -0.38 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | Luke | -1.37 | 41 | 55 |





