










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 224 | 17% |
| Smokes | 395 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 309 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,535 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sculjiah | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | ~Lev1athan~ | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | ʜᴀᴅᴇꜱ | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sculjiah | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | ~Lev1athan~ | 46% | 59 |
| #3 | ʜᴀᴅᴇꜱ | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~Lev1athan~ | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ʜᴀᴅᴇꜱ | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~Lev1athan~ | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #2 | ʜᴀᴅᴇꜱ | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shorebinta | +0.86 | 46 | 38 |
| #2 | ~Lev1athan~ | -0.89 | 99 | 21 |
| #3 | Sculjiah | -1.11 | 41 | 35 |
| #4 | ʜᴀᴅᴇꜱ | -3.05 | 100 | 16 |





