








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 978 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1416 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1804 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1075 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $985,127 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShadowMansDeath | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | Max | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | [SKL] The Big Sniffer | 60% | 92 |
| #4 | THE SIGI | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | MuskelKater | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShadowMansDeath | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | Max | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | [SKL] The Big Sniffer | 60% | 92 |
| #4 | THE SIGI | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | MuskelKater | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SKL] The Big Sniffer | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | MuskelKater | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | THE SIGI | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SKL] The Big Sniffer | 402 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | MuskelKater | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | THE SIGI | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Max | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | ShadowMansDeath | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShadowMansDeath | +5.60 | 67 | 39 |
| #2 | LuftLande Soda | +1.54 | 64 | 52 |
| #3 | [SKL] The Big Sniffer | -0.44 | 57 | 47 |
| #4 | MuskelKater | -0.62 | 28 | 53 |
| #5 | Max | -2.68 | 25 | 35 |





