








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1896 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3548 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2105 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1866 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,980 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plumber | 59% | 102 |
| #2 | G|A|S Guy | 49% | 299 |
| #3 | G|A|S Castaway | 46% | 98 |
| #4 | Kingsiin | 43% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plumber | 59% | 102 |
| #2 | G|A|S Guy | 49% | 299 |
| #3 | G|A|S Castaway | 46% | 98 |
| #4 | Kingsiin | 43% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G|A|S Guy | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Plumber | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Kingsiin | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | G|A|S Castaway | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G|A|S Guy | 415 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | Kingsiin | 84 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Plumber | 49 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | G|A|S Castaway | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G|A|S Guy | +2.38 | 52 | 48 |
| #2 | G|A|S Moonshine | +1.16 | 59 | 54 |
| #3 | Plumber | -1.53 | 42 | 26 |
| #4 | Kingsiin | -2.25 | 22 | 34 |
| #5 | G|A|S Castaway | -3.41 | 17 | 35 |





