








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 908 | 27% |
| Smokes | 609 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1066 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 747 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,818 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboDaddy uWu | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Camboy (OF -15%) | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | Mr Monster | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Anal Juteuh | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | Korab | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboDaddy uWu | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Camboy (OF -15%) | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | Mr Monster | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | Anal Juteuh | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | Korab | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboDaddy uWu | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mr Monster | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Camboy (OF -15%) | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Anal Juteuh | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Korab | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboDaddy uWu | +5.20 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | Anal Juteuh | +3.98 | 85 | 38 |
| #3 | Camboy (OF -15%) | +2.16 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | Fraesmat | +0.44 | 40 | 72 |
| #5 | Mr Monster | -3.36 | 54 | 55 |





