








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 519 | 20% |
| Smokes | 842 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 732 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,637 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | mr drunken | 41% | 64 |
| #8 | 約爾飛 | 40% | 40 |
| #9 | meong | 38% | 104 |
| #10 | I T X Y | 33% | 30 |
| #11 | CS2 Player | 30% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr drunken | 26 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | 約爾飛 | 22 | 0.0271 |
| #3 | CS2 Player | 15 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | meong | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Xipher_ | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meong | 571 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | 約爾飛 | 160 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Xipher_ | 132 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Xelvin | 95 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | CS2 Player | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |





