










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 334 | 26% |
| Smokes | 556 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 312 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 100 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,964 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natetator | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | panda | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | SnowPrince | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Fourhandprints | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Quad | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyencs | 77 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Natetator | 62 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wizardhatt | 57 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | panda | 23 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fourhandprints | 17 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fourhandprints | +7.03 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | Kieruyagi | +3.15 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | Quad | +1.36 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Lyencs | +0.92 | 75 | 54 |
| #5 | panda | -0.75 | 83 | 51 |





