








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1128 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1795 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 524 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 644 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $88,216 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neal Cassady | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | 🎄twink🎄 | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | ✪Huntar | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Horouddo | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Beezy | 45% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Horouddo | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Beezy | 45% | 86 |
| #6 | twink | 35% | 23 |
| #7 | Hexadus | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | Castaway | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beezy | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | 🎄twink🎄 | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | twink | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Horouddo | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Castaway | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beezy | 317 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪Huntar | 89 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Castaway | 51 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | 🎄twink🎄 | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | twink | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Castaway | +4.59 | 66 | 54 |
| #2 | 🎄twink🎄 | +2.39 | 62 | 47 |
| #3 | twink | +1.48 | 50 | 12 |
| #4 | ✪Huntar | +1.37 | 54 | 47 |
| #5 | Black Dr. Mario | +0.27 | 41 | 49 |





