








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 487 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1795 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1204 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,845 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnBabyBoy. | 57% | 137 |
| #2 | Flondeenus Meatpocket | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Modular Bread Box | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnBabyBoy. | 57% | 137 |
| #2 | Flondeenus Meatpocket | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Modular Bread Box | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Modular Bread Box | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | OnBabyBoy. | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Flondeenus Meatpocket | 4 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnBabyBoy. | 283 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Modular Bread Box | 149 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Flondeenus Meatpocket | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OnBabyBoy. | +2.82 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | Flondeenus Meatpocket | -0.71 | 27 | 69 |
| #3 | PorkChop | -1.05 | 66 | 39 |
| #4 | Modular Bread Box | -6.74 | 10 | 47 |





