








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7541 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10537 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2989 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 7168 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,639,840 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | urinary incontinence | 62 | 0.0305 |
| #2 | scrunk | 46 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | machi | 25 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | tyler | 24 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | jalmy | 23 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loser | +2.41 | 63 | 66 |
| #2 | shad | +0.78 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | tyler | +0.65 | 58 | 40 |
| #4 | jalmy | +0.04 | 67 | 57 |
| #5 | machi | -0.12 | 76 | 56 |





