










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
57 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 35 | 35% |
| Smokes | 44 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 15 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 7 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,511 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chugging Mask | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | whopper | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | villain fucker | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chugging Mask | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | whopper | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | villain fucker | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chugging Mask | 1 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whopper | 23 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #2 | villain fucker | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Chugging Mask | 7 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | villain fucker | +5.81 | 54 | 63 |
| #2 | Chugging Mask | +5.36 | 87 | 52 |
| #3 | TinkleWinkle Sardonic Diaper | +1.92 | 56 | 46 |
| #4 | whopper | -2.44 | 34 | 39 |





