








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 872 | 28% |
| Smokes | 863 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 764 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,634,905 of utility $384 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poop Sock | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | vapidzr | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | haxatx | 64% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poop Sock | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | vapidzr | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | haxatx | 64% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vapidzr | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | haxatx | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Poop Sock | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haxatx | 100 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | vapidzr | 97 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Poop Sock | 64 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vapidzr | +1.78 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Junkie | +1.65 | 75 | 36 |
| #3 | Poop Sock | +0.93 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | haxatx | +0.40 | 61 | 54 |





