










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3140 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2607 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2371 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1552 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,383,297 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | WoW♥ShiYQ♥ | 63% | 32 |
| #6 | Sgt. Lincoln Osiris | 58% | 149 |
| #7 | Omarlap | 57% | 44 |
| #8 | Qnsa3D | 51% | 47 |
| #9 | 1CE | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt. Lincoln Osiris | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | 1CE | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Qnsa3D | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Raw Sid | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Omarlap | 1 | 0.0011 |





