








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1055 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1666 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1494 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1536 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,420 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZacK | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | xseveN | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | smooya | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | allu | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZacK | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | xseveN | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | smooya | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | allu | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZacK | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | allu | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | smooya | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZacK | 172 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | allu | 97 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | xseveN | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | smooya | 55 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smooya | +4.09 | 96 | 70 |
| #2 | xseveN | +3.52 | 91 | 79 |
| #3 | J-_- | +2.54 | 91 | 56 |
| #4 | allu | +0.85 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | ZacK | -0.60 | 87 | 60 |





