








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1595 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2961 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2605 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2166 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,258 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Massami | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | 乂卂尺ㄚ丂卄 | 55% | 125 |
| #3 | .crovSterwOw~ | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | 𝘣𝒶𝘔! | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Still down | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | .crovSterwOw~ | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | 𝘣𝒶𝘔! | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Still down | 51% | 41 |
| #6 | (• - •)MeRuski(• - •) | 50% | 228 |
| #7 | THCxPanther | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (• - •)MeRuski(• - •) | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | 乂卂尺ㄚ丂卄 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | THCxPanther | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | 𝘣𝒶𝘔! | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Still down | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (• - •)MeRuski(• - •) | 465 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | 乂卂尺ㄚ丂卄 | 250 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | THCxPanther | 167 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝘣𝒶𝘔! | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Massami | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .crovSterwOw~ | +0.59 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | (• - •)MeNoRuski(• - •) | +0.35 | 51 | 58 |
| #3 | Massami | +0.26 | 33 | 65 |
| #4 | 𝘣𝒶𝘔! | -0.20 | 55 | 75 |
| #5 | THCxPanther | -0.72 | 47 | 67 |





